in which i talk about my butt, etc

i was going to do a million things last night and ended up doing basically nothing instead.

i hung out at the doctor’s office for almost two hours (weee! my favourite place in the world!) the one doctor i normally get is so awesome. i talk to him like he’s sixteen and his facial expressions are hilarious. at this point? i’m a regular. we hungout in the main office and he gave me copies of my tox screens to show that yes, i’m totally dying… and THIS is why,etc. he sent me off with a new prescription and told me to head back in ten days if i didn’t feel better. GREAT! i have a date with my doctor. my usual pharmacist was all, aw dude? again? bummer. she gave me a sympathetic look and gave me the low-down on the new meds. the new pills warn me to “avoid polonged exposure to the sun, or sunlamps”, and to “avoid calcium, iron, or multivitamins 6 hours before and 2 hours after this medication”

PERFECT! so i can’t leave my house, or eat… uh… anything healthy?

she also emphasized on the NO DAIRY thing 2 hours before and 2 hours after taking the pill. uh, lady? i can basically yell at the toilet from my mouth, OR my ass ANYWHERE at this point. my body is dead- you think i care about these things? as long as i look cute when i’m crying on the toilet, that’s really all i care.

no but actually i can’t even pee in public without squirming. people can HEAR THE LIQUIDS coming out of my VAGINA.

creepy.

my immune system was compromised a few years ago and it seems that since then? my body just can’t function. i catch the smallest virus and it turns into a full-blown infection within hours. and then it takes multiple visits to the doctors, different prescribed medication, and tons of money flushed down the drain trying to find medication my body can process. i get something new every other week! how do these things happen?! and why can’t my body cut me a break?

anyway, by the time i was finished with the doctor’s office and pharmacy, it was almost 8pm… (i get off work at 5). i headed home and dan came over for TV night. i baked us some tuna casserole and apple turnovers and we watched intervention, the food network, and most of let’s go to prison (with will arnett)- if you haven’t seen this yet, DO IT. i was crying from laughter. i put curlers in, painted my nails, and went to bed around 11. dan stayed up most of the night drinking beer, eating chips, and scream-laughing at scarface. when i woke up this morning i noticed that he’d shut the curtains in the living room, turned off the tv in my bedroom, and passed out in all his clothes on top of the blanket next to me.

a drunk dan is a good dan.

anyway, it was a nice relaxing night and definitely the night in i needed with a good friend. dan doesn’t open up much- and when he does he usually finds a way to say things to make everyone uncomfortable (he’s funny like that), but he’s been really good lately. i was scooping some casserole into his bowl and he was looking down and said, “you know, i’m really glad i never met your ex-boyfriend”. that’s it. took his bowl and walked to the living room. i love that kid.

moose vladimir was being handsome as always- watching for downtown monsters

tuna casserole & apple turnovers!

i adapted the recipe from here

this is my version of it:

tuna noodle casserole

for the mushroom sauce:
1tbs butter
3 tbs flour
salt
pepper
1 cup mushroom broth (i used vegetable)
1/2 cup milk (i used soy)
1 can mushrooms (i used roughly one pack, chopped, about 1 cup)

250 grams dry noodles
3tbs vegetable oil
1 onion (i used half)
1tbs flour
2 cups milk (i used soy)
salt
pepper
1 can tuna, drained
1/2 cup frozen peas
(i also added about 1/2 cup frozen chopped yellow beans)
1 cup shredded cheese (i used old orange cheddar)
1/2 cup bread crumbs (i made my own)
2 tbs olive oil

1. make the sauce- i added everything in the order i wrote them down
2. in a separate large pot, heat 3tbs vegetable oil and chopped onions (medium heat)
3. pour original sauce into pot of onions
4. add flour, milk, salt, pepper, tuna, peas, beans, cheese (wait a few minutes, then turn off heat)
5. add olive oil to breadcrumbs
6. cook noodles al dente; drain & add to pot of sauce; mix well
7. pour sauce/noodle mixture into greased casserole dish
8. (i added more cheese on top at this point)
9. spread bread crumbs evenly over the top
10. bake at 350 for roughly 35 minutes
11. take out and let cool ten minutes
12. EAAAAT, NOM!

enjoy!

also, i wanted to wish a very happy birthday to jess!

head on over to her blog to give some birthday lovin’ to this hot mama.

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ah, crap.

katie joy says:
leave work and come hang out with me

elle says:
you can’t tempt me to do things that will render me jobless!

katie joy says:
they wont fire you

katie joy says:
tell them you’re having a heart attack

katie joy says:
or

katie joy says:
something to do with your ovaries

katie joy says:
that always works

elle says:
i’ve used all of these already

katie joy says:
hmmm

katie joy says:
i could be dying?

elle says:
don’t even!

katie joy says:
doooooooooooo iiiiiiit

katie joy says:
you could meet my little bundle of joy

elle says:
i almost cubicle-barfed via my butt this morning. i was going to use that…

elle says:
like wtf is my bowel’s issue?

elle says:
have one honest to goodness healthy shit, elle.

katie joy says:
hahahahahaahha

katie joy says:
well

katie joy says:
use that as an excuse

katie joy says:
then come shit at my house

katie joy says:
and meet my dog

elle says:
i would but i have a meeting until 7pm. so i actually have to shit my pants instead

katie joy says:
he shits everywhere you will be in good company

elle says:
oh man, we’re kindred spirits!

katie joy says:
i hate your meeting

elle says:
yeah, my meeting totally needs to die in a fire.

elle says:
and THEN, i need to go to the new place to do more cleaning and painting activities.

katie joy says:
oh i am so jealous

elle says:
really? come play in the previous tenants shit and piss

elle says:
because apparently they did that EVERYWHERE

elle says:
like, it used to be a crack den. and i’m pretty sure they were so hopped up they decided to crawl behind the toilet and take a dump.

katie joy says:
SIGH

katie joy says:
is it cheap at least?

katie joy says:
where is it?

elle says:
not even a little bit! it’s $860/month, on ***** street.

katie joy says:
thats so gay

elle says:
but it’s charming and quirky and i’m totally fixing it up and it already looks amazing.

elle says:
like, i thought the toilet was actually a cream colour. nope. it’s white.

katie joy says:
oh gross

elle says:
yeah. like they totally cooked meth on my perfect little stove, too. ass holes.

it runs in the family… get it? runs?

the brother: It’ll be a good night. I plan on trying all 100 types of beer lol. Actually, that may cause death.

me: hahaha‚Ķ I always say that, but then I go through the beer bible* and the waitress shows up and I get nervous so I just yell out the first thing that comes to mind which is usually “STRONGBOW” and then it’s awkward. for everybody.

the brother: seriously though… Strongbow? Nasty. Beer urine.

me: no it’s basically apple juice that gets you drunk. it’s like being a baby, but with better benefits.

the brother: hahaha, they should put that as their slogan.

me: yeah that, or “bring a diaper!”. but seriously, I think I have IBS.

the brother: Merry Christmas!!!

me: you would!

the brother: no, I did

me: crap.

the brother: literally.

* this is a real thing! the pub next to my house has a BEER BIBLE!