why am i not surprised?

can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that a search engine term linking to my website was butt fart.

someone actually typed butt fart in their google search bar, and my website came up.

today suddenly just got awesome.

in other less fabulous news, tonight is my last bootcamp session and i’m really bummed. i’ve been feeling the burn, and although i don’t see a difference, i definitely feel it immensely. i won’t be going back in january because my sister-in-law won’t be attending, and i’m obviously a huge wimp and i’m afraid of humans. she’s been a super great fitness buddy though, so if she asked me to join another class with her, i would in a heartbeat. so, someone force me to do a couple of crunches and jumping jacks at home, please? or, i don’t know, give me a couple hundred bucks so i can buy a used stationary bike so i can get fit while i watch my stories?

i hate being broke. thanks alcoholism, homelessness, shitty ex-boyfriends, and unstable living situations! you’re the bane of my existence.

duh, because nothing is ever my fault.

who the hell put sugar in my coffee? my mouth hurts and i’m climbing the walls.

this entry was 100% pertinent.

you’re so very welcome.



“standing in the living room in my UNDERWEAR and i’m SIIIINGING”

i’m so stoked on everything right now.

these last few days have been absolutely amazing. they’ve been nothing short of a whirl-wind but what else is new? i’ve been spending most of my time at khala and bizKoti’s- eating fancy dinners, watching movies in our undernothings, and partying with our friends. i haven’t been home in roughly four days and things have just been so exciting.

i’ve been spending lots of time with R. and i like where things seem to be going. he’s a busy man with work (oh hi- haven’t i learned anything yet?), and he has a few bad habits that have me a little worried, but sigh. he tells me i’m beautiful and he rubs my back when i sleep.

one step at a time.

i’m getting some final work done on my chestpiece on thursday and i took friday off to help ashley and julie with a bakesale. saturday night a big group of ladies is heading off to a snooty bar for julie’s fundraiser. this means glamour, dresses, boob shirts, and gin. on sunday i’ll likely go to winterlude with some family friends (i’ve missed them SO MUCH!) and then wallow in self pity in the tub with a bottle of wine, or something. the montrealers will be in town that night though, so things should be REALLY GOOD.

a part of me feels so stuck, but another part is just trying to enjoy the ride.

fuck life: an update

so remember how i mentioned fucking life on a seriously large scale for about a week or two before buckling down and figuring my shit out?

well fuck-life-weekend part 1 was a major success. i even woke up on sunday without a voice from drinking so much. kevin returned to his house sunday night and found holes in the walls, blood everywhere, graffiti on the floors, and a strobe light still on.

what. the. fuck?!

i managed to lose some money, eat pho and catch up with some close friends. i saw tegan & sara, went to a party, took some photos and cheated on my diet with a big mac. i woke up with bruises i can’t explain and small cuts everywhere. EPIC. i know i’m being reckless and unhealthy, but i need to get this shit out of my system.

tomorrow i’m going to the gym
wednesday i have yoga
and thursday night i leave for montreal til sunday

for what it’s worth, i miss andy so much. not the relationship, necessarily. but his presence in general. i lost my best friend, you know? i’m being tough though… so i should come out of this alive.

…if i can make it through next weekend!

my tattoo artist is a sick sadist, also… i love him.

R did another 2.5 hours on my chest last night.

collar bones + needles + 2.5 hours = FML.
(simple mathematics)

i got home and matty made andy and i salmon and rice (best BIL ever)… i chomped it down, showered, crawled into bed and DIED. i’ve been so exhausted lately. andy scratched my back for a bit and we spooned to keep warm. because, umm, did i mention our house is like, 100 years old and none of the walls are insulated, so our bedroom has NO HEAT. and it’s a big bedroom. getting up out of bed in the morning is so painful.

today we have our christmas potluck at work… i made scalloped potatoes- they’re slowcooking in the boardroom right now. there’s nothing i love more than an amazing feast on a blistery cold day!

tonight is lindsay’s birthday so we’re hitting up some pub in the west end to get rowdy.

tomorrow i blow my paycheque on the last of my christmas presents, and some work clothes for the business conferences happening next week.

busy little bee!

christmas shopping fail

holy crap.

on my lunch hour, i managed to spend $200 on the boyfriend and his brother at wal-mart. merry red-neck christmas, boys! i suck at bank accounts. i managed to spend all that money on stocking stuffers. STOCKING STUFFERS. granted, the boys have very expensive taste (even for wal-mart), so i got a lot of organic lotions and balms, burt’s bees products, rub A535 for their joints, shower gels, mixed nuts, protein bars, bailey’s chocolates, vitamin water, travel mugs, candy cane hot chocolate… and other things i can’t remember.

the boyfriend is also getting a gaming mouse and a valet tray for his desk, and his brother is getting leatherbound journals and a giftcard for a bookstore. i can’t remember half of the other things i’ve gotten them but i’m pretty happy with my purchases.

my brother is getting a travelling backpack and a cookbook with great recipes for people who have IBS (sorry for just telling the world that your insides are rotting).

we got my mum a beautiful wooden heart-shaped jewelry box, and we got pops the new star trek DVD and some guitar strings. we also got them $50 for their favourite italian restaurant.

i got my SIL a 1 year subscription to women’s health magazine, a work-out DVD called THE WEDDING BODY, and EA active for wii.

now, excuse me while i go cry in a corner and survive on cans of tuna for the week!

– e