danimal

last night i came home to find this beside the bed:

it reads:

hello, this is DAN and i just wanted to leave you a note telling you how pretty and great i think you are. i’m gonna go make burritos at work now. keep up the awesomeness please.
love,
danimal ❤ xoxoxo

… not to mention the bed was made and the dishes were done.

it's like i've died and gone to housewife(husband?) heaven.

left & leaving

her: you changed your number, you move every few months- i don’t even know where your new house is! it’s like you’re trying to disappear.
me: exactly.

after months of indecision, he finally decided to pack his bags and move out of the city with his on-again, off-again girlfriend. i got the news last night. i had just poured my second glass of wine, and i was angrily describing my endeavours to fall off the map, when she interrupted me.

but… he’s gone, she said.

he’d apparently been changing his mind over and over (i’m not surprised), and finally he decided to leave. last i heard he was still working at the same shop, living in my neighbourhood. but he left. he’s over two hours away from my house, from me. he’s gone.

i can’t stop saying that.

he left
he moved
he no longer lives here

he’s gone.

exhale.

ah, crap.

katie joy says:
leave work and come hang out with me

elle says:
you can’t tempt me to do things that will render me jobless!

katie joy says:
they wont fire you

katie joy says:
tell them you’re having a heart attack

katie joy says:
or

katie joy says:
something to do with your ovaries

katie joy says:
that always works

elle says:
i’ve used all of these already

katie joy says:
hmmm

katie joy says:
i could be dying?

elle says:
don’t even!

katie joy says:
doooooooooooo iiiiiiit

katie joy says:
you could meet my little bundle of joy

elle says:
i almost cubicle-barfed via my butt this morning. i was going to use that…

elle says:
like wtf is my bowel’s issue?

elle says:
have one honest to goodness healthy shit, elle.

katie joy says:
hahahahahaahha

katie joy says:
well

katie joy says:
use that as an excuse

katie joy says:
then come shit at my house

katie joy says:
and meet my dog

elle says:
i would but i have a meeting until 7pm. so i actually have to shit my pants instead

katie joy says:
he shits everywhere you will be in good company

elle says:
oh man, we’re kindred spirits!

katie joy says:
i hate your meeting

elle says:
yeah, my meeting totally needs to die in a fire.

elle says:
and THEN, i need to go to the new place to do more cleaning and painting activities.

katie joy says:
oh i am so jealous

elle says:
really? come play in the previous tenants shit and piss

elle says:
because apparently they did that EVERYWHERE

elle says:
like, it used to be a crack den. and i’m pretty sure they were so hopped up they decided to crawl behind the toilet and take a dump.

katie joy says:
SIGH

katie joy says:
is it cheap at least?

katie joy says:
where is it?

elle says:
not even a little bit! it’s $860/month, on ***** street.

katie joy says:
thats so gay

elle says:
but it’s charming and quirky and i’m totally fixing it up and it already looks amazing.

elle says:
like, i thought the toilet was actually a cream colour. nope. it’s white.

katie joy says:
oh gross

elle says:
yeah. like they totally cooked meth on my perfect little stove, too. ass holes.

now THAT’S friendship!

katie joy says:
i found this wireless remote control vibrator

katie joy says:
that i really want to buy

katie joy says:
which i think would be fun for going out to dinner

elle says:
oh my god!

elle says:
youre so funny.

elle says:
wait… would it be totally weird if we both got that, and went out to dinner together? and made fun of each other.

katie joy says:
basically it would be hilarious since we’d obvs have to trade controllers?

elle says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

a real life conversation using quotes from different movies. only.

khala: must. leave. work

e: it’s 2pm! i’m here til 5:30. i’m totally bailing out at 5pm though. FTW! OI, OI, OI!

khala: haha, i’m leaving at 3pm

e: i h8 u

e: come get me. set my work on fire.

khala: just run. run like the wind.

e: can’t. my feet still hurt. i’m basically forrest gump.

khala: run, forrest!

e: life is like a box of chocolates.

e: it makes me bloaty and fat, and wanna sit on the can for an hour.

e: fuck you, world

khala: hahahaha

khala: stay classy, planet earth

e: go fuck yourself, san diego.

khala: hahahahah

e: i love movies

when all else fails, rambo knows best

A says:
remember too, some people struggle so bad, and have no family to turn. so you’re lucky

A says:
in the end, they are the ones you can rely on!

elle says:
definitely

A says:
just watch rambo: first blood. puts everything into perspective

… truer words have never been spoken

We would look for endless ways of soothing and supporting ourselves, in the same way that you would anyone that you love. When you see a little child teetering, learning to walk, not in balance, falling over, you don’t say, “Get up, you little dummy!” You say, “Good for you! I love seeing that! I love the progress that you are living!” All that we are asking is that you shine that same light of love and respect on yourself and that you give yourself more of a break.
– Abraham-Hicks