danny: well just so you know, i love you… and if it weren’t for you comforting me and cheering me up i’d be a very miserable prick and probably on the verge of a shitty depression- that means a lot to me. so thanks for being such a sweet heart to me, and always cheering me up.
me: same to you, dan. i love you so much
danny: now feel better you city bitch
other reasons i love receiving text messages from this man:
“how’s it going pretty head?”
“i called you for breakfast but you didn’t answer. why’d you leave me drowning in this sea of trouts?”
“yeah, i’mma fuck this chick”
“we gonna shot-gun tonight?”
“let’s take a bus to philadelphia and get cheese-steak sandwiches”
“why is it that booze is the only thing that never lets me down?”
“you can have my kid any day”
“i’m sorry i made fun of your gay facebook photo”
“make me dinner, bitch!”
“thanks for letting me sleep on your butt”
… if you want him, you can’t have him!