three years, one day

an excerpt from honey bee- a memoir by little elle


[Jan. 14th, 2009|10:01 pm]

I think about you on your birthday. I think of you late into the month of September- before it’s too cold for jean jackets, but long enough after gold bikinis. I wonder if you’d be proud of me… if you saw me today, years later. I wonder if you’d look at me and smile, if you’d love me the way we were supposed to love each other. I daydream about the slight curl in your chocolate hair: tucked carelessly behind your ears. I wonder if you’d have mama’s toes and your father’s dark eyes. I think of the smallest, most quiet things about you, and I wish with every ounce of me that we made the right decision together. The hardest part is not being able to speak of our intimacy, because no one has a clue you even existed. You will always be the bigger, better part of me.

My heart beats once for me, but it will always beat twice for you.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “three years, one day

  1. Pingback: 2010 – a (super long) recap « elle

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s