an excerpt from honey bee- a memoir by little elle
[Jan. 14th, 2009|10:01 pm]
I think about you on your birthday. I think of you late into the month of September- before it’s too cold for jean jackets, but long enough after gold bikinis. I wonder if you’d be proud of me… if you saw me today, years later. I wonder if you’d look at me and smile, if you’d love me the way we were supposed to love each other. I daydream about the slight curl in your chocolate hair: tucked carelessly behind your ears. I wonder if you’d have mama’s toes and your father’s dark eyes. I think of the smallest, most quiet things about you, and I wish with every ounce of me that we made the right decision together. The hardest part is not being able to speak of our intimacy, because no one has a clue you even existed. You will always be the bigger, better part of me.
My heart beats once for me, but it will always beat twice for you.