cowardice: a definition

the text i received at 10:30pm tonight:

“i have bad news… we can’t sex anymore… me and the ex are going for round three”

1. a text message
2. from a 25 year old
3. telling me he no longer wants to “sex it”
4. so he can work on his broken relationship for the THIRD time

i’m not even mad about not sleeping with him anymore (in fact, i’m kind of relieved!)… i’m just reading points 1 through 4 trying to wrap my mind around the crappiness of shitty humans, and why i am attracted to them like fucking magnets.


2 thoughts on “cowardice: a definition

  1. Oh sweetie I’m sorry. I went through this several years ago with a guy who decided to give it a 3rd or 4th chance with his ex too and it was horrible. I just hope you don’t let this get you down – it’s easy to slip into thinking that “there must be something wrong with me”, goodness knows I’ve done it, but I think it’s important to remind yourself that you are worth so much more. Sometimes when there’s stuff we don’t like about ourselves, we’re attracted so often to the wrong type of guy – a guy who fills an immediate need for something, but a guy who’ll end up screwing us over, in the process reaffirming our own self-doubts. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be broken when you really start to believe that you are worthy of so much more – set standards for who you give a part of yourself to, and if they don’t measure up, then carry on with some me-time, just knowing it’s all worthwhile waiting for someone who’s going to treat you as you deserve. Big hugs ❤

    • thanks for the kind words lady, as always.

      the good thing is, i’m actually totally okay with it. i’ve been trying to validate why i’ve been sticking around anyway- we didn’t have much of a connection, other than a physical one. a bigger part of me was just hanging around because it was fun and care-free (and the sex was fun). maybe that makes me a worse person? either way, summer’s starting, i’m moving in a month, and this is totally what’s best!


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