alter egos

real text message conversation:

me: FUCK. you can drink jello shooters in the shed

gwen: hahaha so much love. i can’t wait to see your sexy body tomorrow. i might steal one jello shooter. just saying. also, jagger bombsssssssssss

me: i made 103 of them, so yes, you can. also yes, bring stuff to make jagga bombs. fucking sluts.

gwen: lol jagga? you jock.

me: i just want to look at my new haircut all day. and flex in the mirror. and bang bitches.

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