i was sending emails back and forth with my brother’s fiancée… and i forwarded him something because it was important, but didn’t realize it not only listed out everything i wanted to buy him, but everything his fiancée wanted to buy him, which turns out was a total surprise because she got him a whole bunch of stuff to go backpacking in europe or something cool and he had no idea about it until i EMAILED HIM TO ACCIDENTALLY TELL HIM WHAT HE WAS GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS.

so at first he lied and was all “no baby, i didn’t see what you wrote” and then she asked him in person and he was all “HOLY SHIT MY SISTER IS STUPID AND I SAW EVERYTHING AND I UNDERSTAND IF THE WEDDING IS OFF BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO LEGALLY BE RELATED TO TEH STUPIDZ”, and now i feel like the worst sister-to-be ever and i totally understand if she sister-divorces me forever for being such a dumb bitch.

because holy fuck, i am such a dumb bitch.


i have to make it up to her by getting her something completely ridiculous, more ridiculous than the like, $200 amazing easel i wanted to get her until my brother decided he would get her that, and now i have no plans!


the boyfriend and i decided we would go totally hippie on everyone’s asses and get a real tree. then invite the feasters over to make hand-made decorations like a bunch of five year olds because i hate the stupid store-bought decorations anyway. we just need to figure out what the hell to put at the top of the tree that isn’t a dumb angel, or a typical star, or my suction cup dildo.

also, the boyfriend told me what he’s getting me because he wants me to pick it out. he is taking me to my favourite store (it always smells like incense) right beside that vegan restaurant, to buy me a ring.


because holy crap, he is the best boyfriend ever.

so even though i ruined christmas for everyone, i will have a giant, natural stone on my finger.


4 thoughts on “shit

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